Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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