is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
