I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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