You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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