I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
