oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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