oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
