guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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