Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
