Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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