I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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