Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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