I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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