i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so let's talk penis.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
