i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
