I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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