There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
