I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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