Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
