Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
