I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
