I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
