She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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