found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
