So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
