would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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