I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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