I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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