Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
