You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
