i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
