yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
