Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
