well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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