I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
