Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I have aggressive nipples.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
