he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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