i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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