I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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