You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
