i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
