Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
