why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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