So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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