At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize