i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
