she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize