I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
