DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
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