rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
dude i'm inner monologue high
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
