Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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