i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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