the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
