Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
