I wish I could teleport
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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