zippers are such a cool invention
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
