yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so that wasnt chicken after all
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
