Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
