We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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